


headed straight for the floor

by saltalyn



Series: he's the sun and he's the moon [11]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: (mentioned) - Freeform, Drinking, Give them time, M/M, Post-Canon, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, anyway, dev and niall are cute, like very, penelope and shepard aren't together YET, they're like all of age right bc the legal drinking age in britain is 18?? 16??, this could be after awtwb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 07:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28467777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltalyn/pseuds/saltalyn
Summary: When Agatha visits, the gang invites her, Dev, and Niall over for drunken shenanigans. This is the aftermath.prompt #24: "How much did we drink last night?"
Relationships: Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Ginger/Agatha Wellbelove (mentioned), Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: he's the sun and he's the moon [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1865137
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	headed straight for the floor

**Author's Note:**

> the working title for this was "hangovers hurt" so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I wax poetic about simon snow for about three paragraphs straight but it's from baz's pov so it's okay
> 
> title from "mr loverman" by ricky montgomery :)

**BAZ**

Maybe vampires _are_ allergic to the sun. Or maybe extremely hungover people. That gigantic ball of gas is searing my retinas, and I’ve yet to open my eyes. There’s a burning hot and heavy weight along the length of my body. I breathe in. _Oh,_ it’s Simon. Crowley, I love him so much. Even when he’s crushing my ribs and might collapse a lung. 

I love him when he’s sad. When he doesn’t talk for hours on end, when the most physical contact he can stand is holding my hand. I love him when he’s happy. When his cheeks are rosy, his slightly crooked teeth are on display, and his eyes are bright and shining. I love him when he’s tired. When all he wants to do is pass out on the sofa and I have to coax him to bed with quiet words and gentle hands that he’s kept warm. I love him when he’s stubborn. When he juts his chin out in defiance and he makes his words harder around the edges.

I love every version of Simon, but I especially love him in the mornings. When his blood rests just below his skin, making him smell heavenly — like freshly melted butter and bacon. He’s just so pliant, soft and warm and moldable in my arms. The sun makes everything yellow-tinted and hazy, and his eyes are blurred with sleep. His voice is deep and inviting, like an offer I’ll always take. Simon is certainly a morning person, and I am certainly not. The only thing I love about mornings is him. He makes them more bearable with his fuzzy smiles because nothing’s gone wrong yet; and his kisses that I only weakly protest because of his morning breath.

I bring a hand up and thread it through his hair gently. This hangover is one of the worser ones, which means I drank _a lot_. Crowley, I don’t remember anything from last night. I run my hand along his bare back and shoulders. I press my fingertips to different points on his skin, mapping out the moles I’ve memorized.

My throat feels as if someone’s shoved a cotton ball down it. I’m waking Simon up only to complain about my predicament.

He’ll be fine.

I nudge his shoulder, not too gently. (Simon sleeps like the dead when he’s hungover.)

“Mm,” he grunts.

“Love,” I whisper, “wake up.”

“Nicks and Slick,” he starts, “I feel like a troll kicked me in the head. What did we do?” He hasn’t bothered to lift his head from the crook of my neck. He probably hasn’t even opened his eyes.

“Don’t know,” I answer. He begins to roll off of me, then stops. I look over to my left and see… Bunce. Why the hell is she in our bed? (Technically it’s just Simon’s, but I sleep in it enough for it to be considered mine, too.) _And_ she’s not wearing a shirt. Just a bra, leggings and socks.

What?

Shepard’s here, too. He’s using Penelope’s stomach as a pillow with both feet hanging off of the bed. He’s only wearing pants and a sock.

One sock.

“Why’s Penny here?” Simon mutters.

“Don’t know,” I say again. I don’t know a lot of things this morning.

"And why’s she not got a shirt on?” This time I just shrug my shoulders. “How’s your hangover?”

 _That_ I do know. “Atrocious.”

“I’ll get the… the…” he flaps his hand in lieu of saying ‘painkillers.’ When he stands, he looks back up at me with confusion written across his face. (I don’t think I’ll ever get over having the privilege of being able to see Simon Snow shirtless.) “Dev and Niall are on our floor,” he states blandly.

“Oh?”

“So’s Agatha.”

Well that’s certainly interesting. Did we have a “party” and invite everyone we know? I look over the edge of the bed. Dev’s not wearing trousers, Niall’s only got pants on, and Agatha only has underwear on. We must have played something like strip truth or dare.

Simon leaves and comes back with a package of paracetamol clenched between his teeth and four glasses of water. He nearly trips over Niall’s foot and I snort. He flings the package onto the bed and pokes his tongue out at me. “Very mature,” I drawl.

He rolls his eyes and says, “Whatever, dickhead.” He sets his glasses on the nightstand. 

He sits beside me and pushes two tablets out of the foil, passing me one. “Thanks, love.” After we’ve swallowed our pills, Simon decides that it’s time to wake the others. I kick Dev’s hand that isn’t thrown over Niall’s waist. “Oi.” He just mumbles. “Wake up, prick.” I kick him harder.

“Fuck off, Baz,” he groans, but sits up and shakes Niall awake.

“Baby, sweetheart, love of my life, cut that shit out,” Niall rasps. I smirk.

I toss the package at Dev’s face and he doesn’t bother trying to avoid it. Niall sits up groggily and Dev presses a tablet to his lips. I place a glass of water in his outstretched hand. Niall swallows and says, “Thanks, babe.”

I was only slightly ecstatic when they told me they’d finally gotten together in our eighth year, after Christmas. It was disheartening to watch Niall pine over Dev throughout Watford, I think one of the reasons Niall and I got on so well was because of gay solidarity.

On the other side of the bed, Penelope and Shepard are waking up. Simon and I have gossiped over when they’ll start dating. It’s obvious they fancy one another, but Simon reckons Penelope is having a hard time admitting it. 

Now, Penelope’s waking up Agatha.

After everyone brushed their teeth and put on their missing garments, Penelope gathered us in the sitting room. I’m sat in Simon’s lap, his arms tight round my waist and mine on his shoulders. Dev is sitting next to us with Niall on the floor in front of his feet, leaning back on his legs. Shepard is on the last cushion and Agatha’s in the arm chair. Penelope is in the middle of the room, about to tell us about our plans for today.

“Blimey, how much did we drink last night?” Dev asks.

“A _lot,_ ” Shepard answers. “We probably played a million rounds of truth or dare.”

“Do you lot remember anything?” Simon asks.

“All I can remember is Agatha stripping every time because she didn’t want to answer our truths or do our dares,” Niall says. I snort. It’s mostly come back to me now.

_“Agatha,” Shepard started, “truth or dare?”_

_“Truth.”_

_“Boring!” Niall shouted._

_“What made you leave and go to California?”_

_Agatha sighed and gracefully tugged her shirt off._

_“BORING!” Niall shouted, even louder._

“Alright, I know we’re all hungover, but Agatha is leaving for San Diego today, so it’s mandatory that we go to brunch.” 

Nearly everyone groans.

“Sorry,” Agatha says, “but I’ve already left Lucy with Ginger for long enough and I’m worried she’ll kill her.” 

“Are you and Ginger-” Niall wriggles his fingers suggestively.

“...Yes,” she admits reluctantly.

Simon, Shepard, Dev, and Niall gasp.

“Fucking _called_ it,” Dev says.

This is such a trivial topic, who cares about Wellbelove’s love life? I suppose I should show Simon I’m trying to like her by pretending to be interested, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. 

I guess years of raging jealousy will do that to you.

“How unfortunate, Bunce, you’re the only straight one here,” I say.

Simon stifles a laugh and smacks my arm. I side eye him with a smirk.

“Penelope, that’s _golden_ ,” Niall cackles.

Bunce scoffs. “ _Anyway_ ,” she says pointedly, “everyone needs to change, we have to be out the door in…” she checks the time on her phone, “forty-five minutes. Shepard and I are going with Simon and Baz, Dev and Niall are going with Agatha.”

The night before, we’d planned on going to brunch, so everyone brought a spare outfit, but we weren’t planning on getting _that_ pissed. 

* * *

Brunch was, for lack of a better word, fun. We sat at a table outside for the breeze and wore sunglasses. We talked about uni and Agatha's trip back to California and Watford.

After brunch, Simon and I dropped Dev and Niall of at their flat while Agatha, Penelope, and Shepard drove to Agatha's parents' house for her luggage. 

The last time Agatha visited, her parents picked her up and took her to Heathrow airport. This time, her parents are busy, so Agatha drove herself and Penelope to the airport and caught her flight. Penelope drove Agatha's car back to her parents' house while Simon, Shepard, and I followed to pick her up. It was hard figuring that out at brunch with our hangover-addled brains, but we got it in the end.

I never thought I'd actually enjoy this many peoples' company.

**Author's Note:**

> if you couldn't tell:  
> me baz  
> 🤝  
> loving simon snow  
> p.s. shepard is pan bc i said so. also that's why baz's straight comment makes sense  
> p.p.s. i am NOT a car person but i was like "... wait don't jags only have 2 seats?" but i did like the most minimal amount of research and baz has the jaguar that has 4 seats


End file.
